Cancer is usually the most significant medical diagnosis that most people will ever receive in their lifetimes. From the moment the doctor says the words to the journey back home and to breaking the news to family and friends, the emotions of disbelief, anger and fear run deep.

Depending on the severity of the diagnosis and the treatments necessary, the emotional load to unpack ranges in accordance from the benign cancers to the malignant and metastatic carcinomas with poorer prognosis. One may find oneself in the class where one is hoping for remission of the tumors or in a situation where one is simply told to put his or her affairs in order in expectation of imminent death. All outcomes put some strain on the mental health of the individuals involved and their family members.

The goal in this state of initial shock is to find a way to cope with the news. First of all, it is expected that the medical personnel should have done a good job conveying the message with utmost empathy and given suggestions. They would have gone to town with most things that you need to know about the disease, if there are still things that are unclear, ask questions and make clarifications. A better understanding of the condition helps you have a sense of control over what’s going on even when all things seem to be spinning out of hand.

Bottling up your emotions isn’t necessarily the best step to take in this situation. Be ready to express the emotions that you feel in a manner that you’re comfortable with, only ensure you’re doing it in the midst of trusted friends and relatives. If you’re a religious person, you can find solace in your faith, you might want to speak with your spiritual leader as well as other adherents of your faith for encouragement, prayers and support. You may also start a journal, paint, draw, sing or even write poems. Anything to help you stay strong through the ordeal.

You would also do well to focus more on the things that can be controlled and ignore the factors outside your direct sphere of impact. The importance of adopting some stoic outlook at this point cannot be over-emphasized, it will save you lots of energy and time that would be otherwise wasted on every other thing while leaving the positive things you can actually change undone.

Depending on the treatment plan, allowance and mental preparation is to be made for the effects of some of the procedures. For instance, some cancers may require a surgical removal of the diseased organs, Chemotherapy regimen will bring about unwelcome side effects such as the loss of hair, anemia, loss of appetite and a general feeling of unwellness. These procedures will also require significant financial commitment in an out-of-pocket healthcare payment plan, all of that should be factored in while making plans.

As for terminal cases, psychologists tell us that there are five stages of grief:

Denial: Characterized by refusal to accept the reality upon hearing the doctor’s verdict

Anger: At this point, anger with oneself, with God or the universe, with friends and family for the illness.

Bargaining: Here, one is trying to make concessions and contracts. Usually goes something like ‘God, if you help me survive this, I will serve you for the rest of my life/quit smoking’

Depression: The full impact of what’s going on hits the individual and one becomes sad, cynical about everything.

Acceptance: Fully embracing the reality of the condition. It is the final stage and where one should aim towards.

In end-of-life situations, the best thing to do is to set one’s affairs in order, write a will, settle unfinished business and affairs and work toward a transition as seamless as possible.

For friends and family members of patients in this condition, try to be a source of strength and comfort for them, try to make things as easy as you can for them. It will be equally tough on you but you also have to be strong for them.

In summary, we have examined the distressing experience of a cancer diagnosis and some practical steps that can be taken to make things better.